Borderline
by Narushi-sama
Summary: As a postgraduate student, Levi presented the results of his study at a scientific conference where, coincidentally, a 36-year-old professor from Harvard - Erwin Smith was invited. There are a few Slovak words, basically just "do piče" which means the same as "Fuck, shit." I have a lot of ideas for this story so, please, let me know if you want me to continue with it!


It was this hell again. This stupid fucked up hell full of fucked-up people with fucked up ideas and too much confidence in their science-filled heads. And I wasn't interested. Yet, I didn't have any other choice, though, since I was a part of this field and I needed to attend this very event. A fucking science conference.

As a postgraduate student, I had to present the results of my study to the wider community of scientists. That included a short speech in front of the whole mass, or, and I found this much more comfortable, hang up a poster with the basics of the study and stand there for an hour during the poster session, just in case someone was interested in asking fucking questions about my research.

But right now, it was too early for a poster session, and it was too late to turn around and run the fuck away. Sitting right next to my _female _colleagues during the registration wasn't the best idea I could have, for they were clucking like lost chickens the entire time and I thought my head would soon enough turn into jelly worms.

It was 8:30 in the morning and I already felt like leaving. Why the fuck had it to be my university holding a conference? Sighing heavily, I started preparing another _fucked up _bag for the next participant of the event. But the chickens next to me just couldn't shut up, and their chatter increased as a new wave of people came to register.

"That's him! That's him! Oh my god, he's so handsome, isn't he?" One of them was warbling so intensely it got my attention and I snapped at her.

"... The fuck you're talking about? Who the fuck is this _Him?" _

She nearly jumped out of her chair and gazed at me with a little bit of fear tingling in her boring eyes. Without saying anything, she slowly turned her chin in the direction of this Him. And I had no other choice but to look straight into his blue orbs, and the beauty of his eyes almost fucking surprised me.

"Huh, no wonder you stupid chicks are all crazy about him. He's ugly as fuck. But his stupid ass looking face won't tell me his name." And as the man approached, the girls silently gasped, and I rolled my eyes right at him, unconsciously. A slight smile cracked the hard features of the blond's face, because fuck yeah, he was a fucking Barbie blondie, and I wondered how easily that smile could kill because those stupid bitches seemed to be dead already. And I wasn't interested in cleaning their shit.

"Good morning, I see you're not enjoying yourself very much." He spoke and I glared, the fuck with this man, his voice and fucking idiotic smile. So instead of responding, I went with a question.

"Name?" Okay, maybe it's wasn't a real question but who cares. He smiled politely and answered.

"Erwin Smith." And my own hand stopped moving on the list of participants. This man was a very important guest invited for a plenary talk about the history of science, and he was a fucking professor at Harvard University. I gulped, Immediately knowing how much I had fucked it up. But considering how stupid it would look if I suddenly started acting like a fucking candyfloss, I just pushed the bag with welcoming gifts, programs, and other useless shit towards him.

"Enjoy the conference." I managed to say, although the sound of my voice was still very sour and the girls next to me were glaring daggers at me as if trying to stab me with their eyes. Maybe it was because of my shitty behavior, maybe it was because I got to talk to the barbie man, or… It was because Erwin Smith didn't spare them a glance, his eyes never left my face. Until they did as he bid his goodbye and left the registration panel.

I knew Erwin Smith by his name, and by his outstanding achievements in the scientific field. At the age of 36, he was basically a fucking legend known to everyone, students and professors. His studies had helped me multiple times with my own research, and I've read everything that guy had published up to that point.

And.

I was a fan.

But since he was quite young, he was obviously a target to all the female students. They all knew how he looked, what he liked and if he was taken or not. It wasn't surprising that he had a strong fan club here at our school as well. To me, it didn't really matter, I cared about his studies and not about his looks, but maybe I should've at least checked him out and I would avoid being a huge sourpuss. Too late to cry over the spilled milk, though, the damage had been done. I noted to avoid his barbie ass as much as I possibly could, and I was pretty confident in my skills of disappearing.

The first problem popped up rather quickly, and that was when I was assigned to take care of microphones, presentations, and posters, which, of course, forced me to talk to almost everyone, including barbie ass.

"Thank you for your help with my preparations, I really appreciate it." He tried to start a conversation with me for the fifth time, and I, for the fifth time, refused to accept the offer. Shrugging, I simply glared at him and that was it. I tried my best not to be a sourpuss but I just couldn't help it, the best of me already showing in its most glorious way. There was no way I could turn the tables now, and I realized I didn't even care anymore. Erwin Smith was a great scientist, a great professor and I admired his skills and determination. But still, Erwin Smith was also a _human _who visibly enjoyed receiving compliments, almost to the point where I found it disgusting, gross and immature. And I clearly didn't want to be a part of _that. _

The day went slowly, I was so busy with the organization that I almost didn't make it in time to Smith's plenary talk, because as weird as the guy looked, his voice, skills, and experience were something I didn't want to miss. I sat down in the corner of the Aula, placing my MacBook in front of me and when the man started talking, I almost forgot to take notes.

"Science is a huge mystery to me, and it always has been this way, ever since I was a child, I always wanted to know the secrets of the world. How much do I need to know to discover the deepest parts of the human being, the lowest points of the sea or the still-expanding universe? Every answer needs to have its own past, present, and future. You can't find the future when there is no past. So in order to learn about the future, we need to learn about the past first. That's why I'm here today."

His deep bass sounded throughout the room, drawing the listener closer and closer, as if trying to drown every living being in the depths of his story. And I defended myself like a wild doe caught by a frightening beast, for even though I tried to concentrate on my fingers flying over the keyboard, my eyes did not listen ... Because my eyes followed every Smith's movement. And I hated it. Erwin knew how to engage the audience, knew how to make people listen, and when his lecture was finally over, I picked up my stuff and went to the dessert table. I only then noticed those fuckers didn't serve my beloved black tea so I snatched myself a cup of coffee. The poster session was coming irretrievably, and my hands began to sweat. Not that I was nervous, but the idea of standing there for an hour and a half while answering everyone's stupid questions about my study repelled me so much that the sour expression on my face couldn't be saved anymore. I felt like pissing on someone's head would be a better activity than the fucking poster session.

Because there was a fucking poster contest and I tried my best _every-damn-time_ but I never won. It was unfair, everyone preferred bitches in cute dresses. And if I wanted to win, I'd have to dress like a cunt and blink at the ugly greasy men with my long lashes to force them to give me a fucking vote.

Which, of course, I fucking refused.

The other things on the program went smoothly and I learned some new things about the immunity system, animals and brain cells so I made sure to write it all down.

Finally, there was a break for lunch and I felt like hiding from everyone's eyes in a small school cafeteria, where I quietly ate my lunch and gathered strength for the second block of today's program. Again, it was about to start with a plenary lecture, followed by presentations of students and their work to date, but I didn't care, so I decided to stay in the cafeteria and, with a cup of tea (finally), sort out the folders on my desktop. However, my work was interrupted after two hours, as one of my colleagues came running and asked if I would help with leading guests to the atrium for another refreshment before the poster session. I lost half an hour of pure slacking because of that and I was not happy about it. 

"Fucking bitches," I mumbled irritably under my nose so that no one around me would hear it, and as soon as the lecture was over, I stood outside the door and called out loudly.

"All hungry throats and thirsty creatures, follow me. I will lead you to a snack stall that will serve you some food and drinks during the poster session. All those who have posters hanging there, stand up and fall into place!" After my speech, a few dissatisfied glances turned at me, but I ignored them and walked hastily through the school corridors to the atrium, where the posters were. Catering had already prepared sandwiches, sweets, coffee, tea and juice for guests, who began to swarm after me like disgusting wasps and flew around everything that at least a little smelled of food. With a disgusted expression, I turned to them, but my eyes only met the two blue orbs that were watching me from the very corner of the room, silently. My disgust grew deeper, so I went to stand by my poster. And God, forgive me because I wasn't ready.

As time progressed a little, from the snack stall, people began to wander slowly toward the posters. Among all the smiling students, I looked like a rotten lemon that was left deep in the garbage. Frankly, it was kind of my strategy because I hated these stupid sessions. And the more annoyed I was, the fewer people actually came to ask about my research. It was a bit counterproductive, it was desirable for people to be interested, but I just wasn't good at communicating and in fake friendliness.

And so I stood there, arms crossed, glancing up to kill every passing daredevil and chasing them away. Except for one. As Smith approached my study, he paused in spite of my killing glances, and read my poster. In contrast with me, he was so natural and non-violent, though I could feel the power of his presence at the back of my neck, where my hair stood up in uneasiness. He wasn't afraid, Erwin fucking Smith hadn't responded to my attempts to scare him off in any way. Just a false smile decorated his angelic face and I wanted to turn him into mashed potatoes in that instant. Sighing heavily, I looked away and started to walk away. He's not afraid? Fucking fine, I'll leave. Or that was what I thought.

But the foolish thought didn't pay off, because even before I was able to evaporate into the air around, his deep voice spoke behind my back, literally nailing me on the spot. It felt like someone had hammered thousands of nails into my insteps to make me stop. Because I stopped, immediately. And I hated myself for it.

"Mr. Ackerman, if I'm not mistaken? Your study is very interesting, could you tell me a little more about it? I see that you have been inspired by my publications."

I cursed him. In my mind. A thousand times. And then again.

And when I turned around, the look I gifted him with, was a mixture of annoyance and real interest. Somehow, I couldn't possibly choose whether the professor was irritating or impressing me, and so obviously I chose both.

But before I could realize it myself, I was already talking.

"I examined mate choice in humans and whether there were any recurring equations. Specifically, I examined whether the sexual selection was in some way tied to our parents. So, for both genders, I was looking for continuity of sexual selection to father or mother. I asked participants to collect their body odor, preceded by a two-day diet in which they were asked not to eat anything aromatic as well as not to use anything fragranced. The same was done for partners and their parents, and once I had the samples, I switched to the second part of the study. I put each sample into individual containers, added one foreign odor and one control sample, and then let sixty people smell them. They were supposed to assemble them from the most similar to the least similar. The results were excellent, I was pleased because my theory was confirmed. That we really choose subconsciously partners who have a similar body odor as our parents. Father for the daughter, mother for the son."

And while I spoke, Erwin's eyes never left my face. Was he looking at my lips or was I hallucinating? Stupid fuck. And when the silence filled the air around us again as I ended my speech, he smiled.

"That really sounds interesting. What possible steps are you planning on taking now with the study?" He then asked, and I cursed him for being so curious. I answered, nonetheless.

"Since this study is only focused on heterosexual individuals, I really wanna dig deeper into the homosexual sexual selection, and find out if there is a connection to that, too. And I'd love to know if this can be applied to transgender people as well." I said, and even though I tried my best to sound like a dead fish, my own excitement betrayed me as I clearly sounded like a fucking child talking about his favorite ice-cream flavor. Fuck. And the professor had that stupid smile of his glued onto his face again. I cursed loudly this time.

"... I'm sorry?" He asked and I rolled my eyes. Great, I said that out loud without even realizing it.

"I said _fuck._" The hell with him, I responded completely honestly, glaring at him as if it was his fault. And this time, I really thought he's gonna sue me for being a little nasty bitch, but he surprised me again with a fucking wide grin that almost looked goofy. Fuck again, my dear friends.

"Oh… I can only assume how hard it is going to be for you to find participants for collecting enough samples. Very specific individuals are required for this type of research, and the percentage of people who meet the criteria for the assessments are very low." He continued smoothly without even blinking, and it made me think that he actually enjoyed the sourness in my personality. So I tried to show him the real me, thinking that I walked on very thin ice and I could end up executed or some shit.

"Yeah, it's going to be a fucking disaster for me and I will probably need to travel more because of that, which sucks, for I don't really enjoy business trips that much. Whatever, anything else you wanted to ask, professor? Or can I finally take a piss because if this lasts any longer, you'll be dealing with my pissed pants." I deadpanned, not even bothering to smile in any way. Erwin, on the contrary, smiled politely and stepped aside to let me know the conversation was over.

"Of course, see you at the scientific party, Mr. Ackerman?" He asked, and added, "I'd love to talk about your study a little more since you fueled my interest, but of course, without your bladder asking for attention. Have a great day." And even though there was a questing hanging in the air, he already started walking away, as if he was sure I would come to that fucking party. And I had zero interest in coming. Then again, I failed at that, too, because I simply responded, "sure."

*/*/*

The rest of the day wasn't anything worth mentioning. I drank tea, helped with the rest of the lectures, and by the time everyone gathered in the salon for the party, I felt like every last piece of social tolerance I had left, was quickly evaporating. But I came anyway, the reason being that I fucking promised the junk head professor from Harvard. And I always kept my promises. Not giving any shit about anyone's shit, I went straight to the bar to snatch myself a huge glass of rum with coke. I actually enjoyed this drink very much, and it was me who made sure it'd be served at the conference party. Putting a nice two slices of lemon into the cocktail, I added a little glass straw and began to drink like a fucking pro.

The room was slightly decorated, not too much and not too little. And I enjoyed the little lighting bulbs hanging from the ceiling, making the atmosphere more comfortable, cozy and welcoming. The dim light went well with the ebony wood floor, white tables full of food, and a dark brown bar with served drinks. A few people started dancing to the music that seemed to be playing popular hits from last century, and I snickered at that, my eyes leaving the dancing floor just for a second to sip the drink. And when they returned, I immediately spotted Erwin dancing on the dance floor with a beautiful woman. His wife, huh. And for the first time in a very long while, I realized I felt something stirred in me.

Jealousy.

Downing my drink like a pro I was, I quickly ordered another one and hid in the corner of the bar so that nobody could spot me. After about an hour of pure slacking and drinking, I saw Erwin approaching me so without a second thought, I slowly turned away and began to walk. I made it to two and a half steps before he fucking glued me to the floor with his voice again.

Mr. Ackerman, it's good to see you here, I thought you're not coming."

His voice was strong, so strong that I wondered why he wasn't a commander of the soldiers, but only a professor at the university. I was sure that his voice could lead the whole army to the battlefield, to the deadliest of marches. Under the weight of that sound, I was forced to turn slowly, as if behind his polite words was a command that was not directly pronounced. But I felt it. I could feel the violent vibrations deep in my bones, moving my muscles, making me listen. Erwin compelled me to obey his orders, which had not even taken place between us. But I fucking felt it.

I felt a little tipsy, so even though Erwin made me turn around, he didn't make me stop the flow of my fucked up thoughts that were starting to crazy out of my mouth.

"You want something? You shouldn't be staying with me, your wife is waiting for you." I said bluntly.

"Yes, that's true, but she left the party because she was tired. And I came to talk about the study." Erwin answered lightly, his voice still carrying through the surroundings like a pleasant melody I'd listen to before sleep or before... wait, wait. No. My tense brain began to reach incomprehensible conclusions that I refused to think about.

"Then you should pack your bag and get out, Professor. And not ask about my fucking research. I'm not in the mood to talk." I almost spat out, the alcohol in my system clearly loosening every possible politeness that I had left.

"Mr. Ackerman? Are you okay?" Erwin asked, almost dumbfoundedly.

"Don't fucking call me that, you piss-head." I scoffed at him, making his thick eyebrows fly up, it almost looked like two fucking birds trying to escape from his forehead, and I snickered at that.

"Excuse me?" He looked like he didn't believe his ears. But, oh boy, believe me, I surely had said that shit right to your pretty face.

"Piss-head." Oops. I did it again. And by that second addressing, I started to giggle.

But Erwin's face darkened as I said that, and here I thought _that's it, he's leaving me alone. _And I was right. A mere seconds later, he nodded and left the bar without getting anything to drink.

I felt stupid and victorious at the same time, didn't even know why, for I was just stupidly dumb.

Erwin didn't try to contact me in any way again, he seemed to be enjoying himself with others, and a lot of girls gave him the attention he loved so much. I just wasn't the type he was looking for, the type of student who would lick his feet and wag his tail like a grateful puppy every time he smiled at him. And I knew I acted disrespectfully with the alcohol only deepening my bratty character, but I couldn't fucking help it. I sat there for another hour, only when I started feeling guilty about what I said, I decided it was just about time to get the fuck out.

I ordered another glass of rum and went to take a walk down the hallway where nothing but silence greeted me. Each time I passed by one of the old windows, a creeping feeling downed on my insides, as if someone was watching me on my lonely road to hell. The light bulb popped at the end of the corridor, a sudden change of lighting shocked my vision for a moment as the darkness covered everything in dark brown and blue colors. Soon enough, I halted by the very last window to rest on the windowsill, bringing my legs closer to my chest, I folded my arms on my knees and slowly lay my head on them.

It was so quiet, so comforting.

Sipping my last glass slowly this time, my eyes began to wander around. The night sky glimmering in the darkness like million lights, it looked like cities burning with life. One star shone brighter than the rest, sightly colored in shades of blue, reminding me of one's eyes, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. About the star, about the man, about the feeling that was left in me now that he wasn't here. Maybe I enjoyed his interest in my studies. Maybe I kinda liked the man, maybe I found him attractive. And just maybe that was why I acted like a fucking imbecile.

If somehow I could just wake up.

Another sip, another sigh, but this time, I could hear something else creeping in the walls of this corridor. Something that got closer with every passing second, and it made me freeze in my spot, not allowing me to move.

And then I heard footsteps as someone approached me, joining me in my darkness. He halted in front of me, leaning against the wall on the other side of the hallway, just about two meters away. And I knew.

I, somehow, knew who this person was, that's why I couldn't bring myself to look at him, because fuck, I'd lose my dignity If I did. He didn't say a word to me at first, for he was just looking at me with those bright blue eyes that shone like stars in the sky. That one particular star. And when he finally spoke, my ears almost fucking hurt.

"I should have known you weren't a fan of crowds and parties, but that doesn't change the fact that you called me a dick."

"Piss-head," I spoke in response, just to correct him. He laughed briefly, and the sound echoed across the empty, dark corridor, as frighteningly as the thumping of my own heart behind the wall of my ribcage. I wanted to laugh.

"Yes, exactly that."

"So ... you took the time to find me just to scold me? You didn't even have to try." I said quietly, but my eyes remained on the glass, in the reflection of which I watched the darkened face of the professor and his glowing eyes.

And I could feel the enigmatic charm of his personality as my throat tightened, the alcohol fled from my pores faster than I would have liked, and goosebumps found their way to the surface of my skin as traitors.

"Not quite. I wanted to try again with you, but this time differently." He answered me and for once I didn't understand what he meant.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I hissed and finally turned my head to look at him directly and not through a dirty windowpane.

He smiled. But it wasn't a smile that one would consider friendly, nor was it a smile that I could take as nice or polite. It was a smile that knocked down all my gates and walls, revealing me totally naked before the intense gaze that accompanied him. I was fucked.

"What I'm talking about ... Well, this situation is very dangerous and we both need to be aware of what may be the result of it if someone found us here. As a professor, being in a dark corridor with a student is somewhat inappropriate. Especially if the student is very rude. That could cause him a lot of trouble."

"Are you threatening me, you-knocked-head full of shit? Stop it because I don't fucking care. Pull all the shit you came from, throw it on your head and eat it with your gross mouth. Then fucking jerk off your disgusting cock while looking at all those female students that drool over you like fucking snails, and then go back to your hotel room and fuck your wife to get rid of the guilt, but don't fucking bother me. Unless you deserve better behavior, I'll treat you like a piece of shit you are! " I sputtered suddenly, still full of alcohol and sudden courage that had blossomed out of anger, I slid off the windowsill and shortened the distance between us to stab my finger into his chest.

"Fuck you, Professor."

And then I left. Or I planned to leave if it wasn't for his hand sizing my wrist and pulling me back to him.

It was too much to take. He held me in place so that I couldn't pluck out of his grip, and made me look into his eyes. The blue and endless sparks seemed to darken, lost their light, and I knew I had pissed him off. Good. Because he was irritating me all the time, the feeling was always disturbed by something else, though, a small annoying shiver that pervaded my insides and pressed against my lower abdomen. And I hated it, for God's sake, how much I hated it.

Because the anger woke an unstoppable desire that obscured my gaze, fogged it, and I couldn't think clearly.

"I'll say it in your language. Fuck the girls."

I gasped and looked up into his face, totally surprised by his words.

"What?"

"I'm tired of all the girls running after me, so finding someone who speaks as openly as you is almost a miracle. Plus, considering the goals of your study, I believe we're on the same page."

"Is that an old and unfashionable pick-up line?" I asked dumbfoundedly and he smiled.

"You're smart."

"And you're old fashioned, old man."

I didn't know how it happened, but our conversation started to pick up a different scent, and even though we didn't seem flirty at all, I still pushed forward and asked.

"Do you really think I will accept your stupid flirting tactics? Try harder, you asshole."

At last, I broke free from his grip but only managed to turn my back and take two short steps before his large palm covered my eyes and pulled me closer to his body. I could feel my shoulder blades bumping against his firm chest, and as he lightly forced my head to lean back and touch his shoulder, only a few words slipped from his lips. Just a few short words that put me back in place. I couldn't defend myself so effectively, and he seemed to know.

"Join me, and don't regret it."

The order I obeyed.

*/*/*

I didn't understand why I listened, but I caught myself sitting in the cab toward one of the most luxurious hotels in the city, and while staring out of the window onto the road, I clutched my jacket nervously.

What was I doing in the car?

I didn't touch him, he didn't touch me, and we didn't talk during the ride to the hotel.

So what the fuck was I doing in that car?

Shortly after we arrived, I thought how great an idiot I was, and I slapped myself for the fifth time in my mind. But Erwin didn't give me much opportunity to see the luxury and pomp that the hotel overflowed with. Instead, he hurried to the elevator, and I followed him, not to be suspected as an unwelcome guest.

By that time, my heart settled in my throat, completely ridding me of all cognitive thinking, as if I were just a puppet who was afraid of emotions, decision-making, or understanding of reality. My breathing accelerated, and as soon as the elevator door closed, I glanced up at Erwin.

"Shit, I can't stand it anymore, you little twat. Do something!"

And that was exactly the moment when Erwin's eyes stared hungrily in my direction. The lift went up while he bent down and his lips crushed mine in nothing but a feral desire.

How the fuck did this happen, I had no idea, but I began to return his terribly wild kisses with the same passion as if there was nothing else in the world.

The clink announced that we had arrived on the fifth floor, but I couldn't care less, for the fog was covering my mind, and countless lightning bolts spread in my body. And I felt like I was falling. But those strong arms kept me alive, pulled me together and then out of the elevator. The shirt button wandered in the hotel corridor, the lights turned on, and then slowly dimmed to cover us in the dark. Silence, the soft click of the lock as Erwin blindly put the hotel card to the door.

The room was as luxurious as the rest of the hotel, with large windows offering river views. I tossed my shoes and jacket aside, and before Erwin could take me to the bedroom, I pushed him into the next door where I expected the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower with you, dumbass. I won't do anything unless we're both clean!" I commanded and to my surprise, Erwin consented without saying a word.

The bathroom was enormous, a large bathtub stood in the corner, which could accommodate perhaps a whole family of five, a wide shower stood next to it, and the whole room was offering a crazy river view that looked almost romantic. I scoffed at that and walked closer to the bathtub. Without turning to him, my fingers began to work on the undressing of my shirt, pants, and other garments that interfered with my merciful bath. I turned on the water and put some scented foam into it. And as I looked over my shoulder, Erwin stared at me like I was some holy picture, his lips slightly open in astonishment, and his cheeks reddened with heat and desire. He was beautiful. And I hated it.

My cock reported that it was ready a long time ago, and now it literally hurt as it ached for some touch and release. Erwin's gaze on my body burned, and I was almost ashamed to take my boxers off, so I barked at him.

"Get undressed, asshole and don't look at me." And immediately after that, I threw away the last piece of clothing and crawled into the bath. That seemed to have moved Erwin into action, for he too had slipped out of his clothes, and this time it was me who had the beautiful view. And it wasn't the river view. A few moments later, he joined me in the bath.

The nightlife meddled in the air, with traffics singing melodies of this very scene, the sunbeams were long gone, sleeping, the darkness trying to hide our forbidden desires, and my eyes were locked on him.

Erwin's bright smile that he gave me would have won a battle against the sun itself, and it belonged to me that one evening. And I was scared, suddenly the desire flew out of my body and was replaced by mere uncertainty, I didn't know what to do and how to act so I outstretched my hand to touch his sun-kissed skin.

"Erwin." My voice was soft, sounding almost like a broken whisper that hadn't meant to be heard, calling him by his first name was harder than I expected.

"Levi?" He mumbled and tilted his head a little to the side, still smiling, giving me a little bit of time to adjust to the situation. The blue gates of his eyes were watching me, the very depths of the ocean madness that occurred in his pupils attacked my senses, and froze me in place. Suddenly, I was left with a decision that made me almost nauseous. He patiently waited for me to speak or to act, but I couldn't bring myself to do so, thus I sighed and turned my head away to the medley of blooming city lights, streets and the river that was surrounding us. So close and yet so far from our little world.

I didn't know what I was doing. I slowly moved closer to him, and while he patiently waited for my words, I leaned over and my breath touched his lips briefly. Again. The crazy proximity that I felt nearly made me feel like a wreck. I grasped his shoulders very tightly, as if to find some peace of mind, and his hot breath caressed my face, cooling it with light touches. I was burning inside, my cheeks red as roses on a spring day and my throat felt like a desert. He smiled. It was just for a brief moment, when the corners of his lips turned upward, as if he was telling me it was okay. He convinced me with just that little of an effort. I closed the distance between us and my lips touched those of his. A feel so light that it could've been mistaken for the zephyr itself, except that there was no such thing as the zephyr. He didn't take the lead this time, only broke free one of his hands to put it behind my ear so he could play with my black strands in his fingers. I had built up a new wave of confidence and roughly asked him to let me in his mouth. His lips parted slowly and his tongue tenderly licked my own in return. That one act made me turn into jelly worms. And as if he knew what was happening to me, he pushed me to lean back in the bathtub and stole every bit of my control that I had. My heart was pounding heavily against my chest, and I felt like I was out of breath every time he moved in and out with his tongue. Gradually, the kiss deepened and I lost myself in this sweet oblivion, taking in everything he had been offering at that moment. So when his hand went down to my abdomen, I willingly moved my legs apart to give him some space. He smirked into the kiss and attacked me with everything he had felt. Every part of my body was responding to his touches, every part of my mind was blurred by his actions. And every part of my soul wished for him to be there, close. Closer. The wildness of the act quickly burning all the guilt, sourness, and it left me wide open, welcoming. As if he simply belonged there, right then and there, in my arms, in my world. I had a feeling I've known him for eternity. Strange as it was, he seemed to understand, for how he touched me with everything and nothing, with desire so feral it almost hurt, with gentleness so rough to leave little marks of his presence all over my skin.

A lightly-tan hand stole the last remnants of my self-control as it slid under the water and finally touched my penis. There was enough cockiness in his actions that made me believe he wanted me as hard as I wanted him.

Fuck.

I couldn't quite handle it, as he traced a wet path with his lips down to my jawline and onto my neck, where he roughly bit me. My face fell backward so that it rested partially on the windowpane.

A puff of hot breath misted the glass and woven all my feelings into its material. But before I could recover from his touch on my manhood, I felt his fingers slowly sink down to my entrance, where they began to circle like hungry vultures. I gasped and lifted my pelvis instinctively to welcome the first digit of his finger. I heard him hiss softly, but it sounded from afar. I felt his lips on my neck, his crushing teeth on the collarbones where they left imprints of his actions, and I was lost again and again in his charm. But it wasn't enough, I wanted more, I wanted him. As if sensing my need, he stopped and pulled me back to weave words into my skin and stop the flow of my thoughts.

"Turn around." One single order came up to my ears, and I listened obediently. Shit, he had me.

I turned, but instead of the fingers I expected, something naturally wet, hot and slippery touched my ring of muscles. With eyes wide open, I tried to escape the touch, but Erwin held me too tightly, and all that came out of my mouth was a desperately horny whine. My body trembling wildly because of that skilled licking of his tongue, I felt like a paper doll dancing in the wind. I moaned with delight that absorbed all the previously unknown fissures of my self, and when he finally slid two fingers inside, I was already leaning against the edge of the tub and pushing my cheek hard onto the cool material, as if it could help me. I bit my lip to stop those humiliating sounds from creeping away from my throat, but he fucking spanked my ass. And so I panted, whimpered, whined and moaned like a little whore I was, and I fucking loved it. Oh hell, how much I hated it, fuck.

There was no way of escaping, and when I heard his silent soft moans, signaling just how much he loved when his fingers bore deep into my insides, I wanted to give him more, even if it meant giving away my entire body and soul.

"More, harder, I want your cock, Erwin…" I whimpered like a little kitten aching for his touch, and it ached. It ached so much I was just seconds away from coming. "I think I'm gonna…" I started but my words were cut in half as he spoke, his voice raspy, husky and filled with command.

"Commander, I'm your commander now. And you can't come until I allow you to. Understood?"

That was unexpected to hear, and it somehow made me angry again, I clenched my muscles around his knuckles and grunted, his reaction was almost immediate, raw and filled with lust as he bore deeper and stretched me open once again.

"Fuck you, asshole!" And saying that, I started fucking myself on his fingers, and it seemed to be very appreciated, considering how eagerly he pushed me against the tiles and began attacking my ass with his hard thrusts.

"Little disobedient whore, are we?" He hissed, and his words hit just the right spot, because I didn't expect them, and because it was so hot I caught myself responding with a high pitched moan. Then suddenly, without even letting me know in any way, he pulled out his fingers and replaced them with something way bigger, fucking finally. And even though I longed for his cock filling my ass entirely, it still hurt. Not little, it actually hurt quite a lot. But the pain was somehow lost in all the desire bubbling inside of my body, and his hands were moving in soothing circles on my buttcheeks, as if to make me relax a little bit, because, for fuck's sake, I was tense as fuck.

And it hurt.

But I loved it.

And with the slow progress of our act, which had been growing wildly, I realized the situation we were in. A dangerously tilting glass of sanity overflowed over the edge, throwing us both across the deck into the depths of hell. Erwin held me as if I was dear to him, with force so gentle, caressing my back with his wide palms, leaving red trails on places where he scratched me too hard not to leave his signature all over my skin.

And then he moved, gritted, thrust into me so possessively it completely destroyed me from the very inside. Feeling his hand pushing me down violently so that my ass protruded up in the air even more for him to slam his log of a cock deeper, caused my heart to skip a beat and I closed my eyes as several embarrassing squeals fell from my lips. The rough sensation was welcomed, though, as I started swearing like an old hag for her discount at a grocery store.

"Tch, fuck! Fucking hell, shit!" And it seemed to encourage Smith to move even faster, the water splashing around us ragingly as if it was an untamed ocean during a thunderstorm. His eyes bore insanely into my nape and I could feel them crushing the surface of my skin, tingling at the ends of my short, shaved hair, almost scaring me to the point where I thought this man was a total beast. A beast hidden behind his composed exterior, a monster waiting to be unleashed. And I yearned for it to come out of its shell, the danger shivering in the room, almost reaching out to me, to whisper in my ear, to mess with my head, and to completely destroy every possible doubt that could've been forming in my mind. I was simply struck by him and he made sure to rip my body to pieces so I couldn't collect and glue them together anymore unless it was him putting them back into their rightful place.

As if I couldn't care less about his commands, I reached down to my own dick and started stroking it in a frantic way as it ached so desperately for some kind of release. But Smith noticed and, fucking, of course, he hasn't forgotten about his commands, thus his hand landed on my ass cheek, hard enough to make the whole surface red, and it made me stop immediately. However, as much as I loved this kind of action, my bratty tongue was still present.

"You little piece of shit, let me fucking come, I can't take this anymore… UhhUgh… Damn fucker, son of a dirty bitch, you huge asslord, cocksucker! I swear I will kick your balls and throw them out of the window once I'm -"

"Enough! It's an order, obey it!" He shouted, his strong voice echoing in the bathroom so much I could hear his words there times before the silence returned to us. Trembling, I slowly moved my hand away and placed it onto the steamed windowpane, leaving a mark of our proximity in there.

"Fucking… _please." _I heard myself saying, my voice finally lacking the usual sourness that had always been there. Instead, I sounded like a wounded kitten. And as Smith noticed the change in me, he rewarded me with another hard thrust, directly hitting the little bulge inside me. Sparkles filled my insides then, and he took the advantage of my momentarily distracted mind, grabbed my hair and arched my back while wildly slamming his cock in my ass. He fucking made sure to never miss my prostate, asshole.

"Not yet, hold it a little longer." He said, but this time, his voice was softer, sounding almost like a touch of velvet, and there, just behind his words, I could also pick up something else, something very similar to cracking.

"Erwin… P... Professor, ugh, Commander. Fucking please I beg you, let me come already, I can't take this any longer!" I have fallen, deep down into the abyss of hell as I finally said those words I knew he wanted to hear the most. And as much as I didn't want to say it, I became so desperate that it just slipped out of my mouth in one hasty sentence. The amount of magic the man possessed was almost unbearable and I didn't understand why I became such a mess after meeting him for the first time in my entire life. I had slept with people, I knew what sex was, or proximity, dirty talking, and shit. I just never obeyed someone just like that. That simply I listened to every damn command Smith had thrown in my face, I fucking listened to it all, almost like hearing melodies of the strings playing on his soul.

"Do piče!" Swearing loudly in my mother language this time, he smiled at that smooth change and aimed for my prostate once more, leaning over me to place his hot lips to my ear. And then he whispered. One sweet whisper made me fucking fall over the edge. I was so full of the tension, the lust I ever so much tried to prevent from leaking out, or even more so bursting out like a fucking volcano.

_"Come for me, Levi."_

I was destined to fall from the very beginning.

It clicked, the lid opened and all my passion for Smith finally met a turning point, the one I had been waiting for this entire time. My body tensed, caging his huge cock inside my ass as I started trembling more violently and uncontrollably, my breath hitched and I gripped the edge of the bath with my left hand so fiercely my knuckles turned completely white, all the while my right hand slid down from the windowpane, leaving nothing but a wet mark of my fingers as an evidence of this very act. My come slowly dissolving in the water

The gentle touch of Smith's breath caused my penis to twitch even after reaching the sweet bliss of orgasm, leaving a slight glint of cum at its tip. And yet I wasn't the only madman there, the professor, whom I had known for one day straight, was now pulling his length out of my ass, scrutinizing with the hand around its head, tasting the darkest places with such a need that only a look at him was almost unbearably exciting. And I did look at him when I finally regained some awareness of the surroundings. The musky aroma that attacked my senses was played by a melody of precious passion, the heat in Erwin of which graduated with every second as he pumped his manhood erratically. And his fingers entwined in my hair tightened, the nails pressing onto my scalp while he turned my head back so that I was facing the wall. I heard him move closer, stand up and then hover over me like a beast finally taking down his prey. He pushed my head down and run his fingers across my nape, the touch lingering there for way too long. The madness of the soul crawling through the chest and throat up into the silent world around us, only the small, ringing sounds of desire stole the nothingness Smith still had possessed. He was now falling, too, throwing his head back so that I could hear my own name quickly creak through his lips. Levi. That fire born within him was like a drug I wanted to swallow. Smith's accelerated breath accompanied by soft moans and deep growls. The need ever so visible. The madness. The moment when Erwin shook up with the climax. That moment when I uncontrollably moaned, too. And then the silent scream of someone who had just lost all his self in a jolt of excitement. Still trembling, Smith let go of everything, and his sperm flowed lazily on my nape, where he had come a few seconds ago.

I didn't realize then that his wife wasn't in the hotel room.

*/*/*

I stayed for a while, we bathed together, and he pissed me off several times again that I seriously thought about leaving, but then found his cock in my mouth as he lay on the bed and moaned like a little bitch so shamelessly my departure was postponed due to that. And when the thought of leaving occurred in my head for the third time during the night, before I could take any further steps, Smith seduced me _again _and fucked me gently into the mattress.  
At the end, when Erwin collapsed on the bed and fell asleep, it was almost five o'clock in the morning. As a person suffering from insomnia, I couldn't fall asleep, even though my body kept asking for rest, thus I sat on the bed watching Smith's peaceful face for an hour or so. His beauty went beyond my darkest desires, I just refused to admit that he could also get me into his trap. Suddenly, as if an unknown entity had moved with my hand, I reached out to his messy blonde hair and gently grasped it between my fingers. The subtle touch made him murmur in his sleep and burry more into the duvet. Fuck, he was adorable. But that little spark of foolishness quickly disappeared into nameless voids, and instead of feeling comfortable, anxiety crept into my body. I got out of bed and decided it was time to go. I picked up my stuff, and within two minutes I was hurrying down the corridor to the elevators.

Lost in my world, I didn't notice the woman coming out of the next room, looking suspiciously in my direction. And to add to this stupid stupidity, I forgot my watch and belt in Smith's room. But since I was already on my way back to my place, I decided not to return, and instead, ask about it at tomorrow's conference.

Little had I known…

/*/*/

I yawned, took a third coffee at the stall that didn't serve my beloved tea and headed to the aula. I was so tired I couldn't even walk to the atrium where they actually had tea. Coffee should do, I thought, and sat next to Farlan who smiled at me. It was already three o'clock in the afternoon.

"Morning, Levi. You look even more handsome than usual, did you have a good night sleep?" He mumbled happily but the tone in his voice was very much sarcastic. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Feed someone else with this stupid ass comments, Farlan." I deadpanned and he laughed.

"Sorry, dude I just saw you this morning and you looked like shit. I thought it will fade away during the day like usual but as I see now, it hasn't. What happened?" He then asked the one question that I didn't want him to ask at all, because yeah, I wasn't actually planning on telling him I was sore as fuck from yesterday's night with this Harvard professor, who fucked me senseless three times and screwed me over so much I could barely sit on my ass.

"Nothing happened." I lied instead but he didn't look convinced. And speaking of the professor, I kept wondering where the fuck he'd been the entire day?

"Oi, Farlan. Where's Smith? He's supposed to have another plenary talk soon and I haven't seen him yet."

"I thought you can't stand the guy, huh, almost every girl here on campus was pissed at you for how you treated him yesterday. It was so funny to listen to their angry whining." He answered and yet, didn't answer me at all, I frowned.

"Fuck the girls and fuck Smith, I just came here to take notes." I lied, again.

"Yeah, but I saw you yesterday attending his plenary talk?" Farlan looked puzzled, gazing at me with a clear question written all over his face. I sighed.

"Yea but I couldn't take notes yesterday."

"Why? I saw you with your MacBook." Farlan started to be fucking annoying as hell. I clenched my jaw for a second before replying.

"It was dead."

"Opened with your fingers on the keyboard?"

"Fucking yes, the battery was dead!"

"You sat just by the socket, you could plug the charger in and…"

"I didn't have a charger with me, okay?"

"But I saw you…"

"Fucking hell, what's your problem, Farlan? Just tell me where the fuck the fucking Barbie ass is, will you? Are you a police or some shit?" I snapped at him, not allowing him to finish the sentence. He blinked and raised his hands in defense.

"Jeez, okay okay! He's not here."

"What do you mean he's not here?" I asked dumbly, anger bubbling in my chest, waiting for me to let it out. But Farlan wasn't at fault and I knew it so I kept it locked inside.

"What I mean is that he's not here. He called this morning and apologized for the trouble but he had a plane to catch. Apparently, as he said over the phone, his wife was feeling very sick and they had to leave sooner." He shrugged and I stopped listening to him then, dumbfoundedly staring right through him, not paying attention to anything anymore.

Smith was on his way back to Boston. Smith left without saying goodbye. But most importantly, Smith fucking left with his watch and belt while gifting Levi with the worst sourness in his gut.

"Do piče." I uttered irritably and stood up. "I'm outta here." And with that, I left. I left the Aula, I left the building and the whole fucking conference.

Somehow, I felt hurt.

*/*/*

It was 2 o'clock in the morning when I received a weird looking email. A month had passed since the conference, I was sitting in bed with my MacBook resting in my lap, and while scrolling through the internet, an email popped up in the corner of my browser. My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw who was it from.

_And then I got fucking mad. _

From: Erwin Smith (smittyblond )

To: Levi Ackerman (Leviackerman )

Subject: Study

_Dear Mr. Ackerman, _

_how is your study going so far? We haven't heard from each other in a while and I thought I could write you this little message to let you know that I have talked to one of my colleagues about it here at Harvard and they'd love to get in touch with you. _

_Also, I have to admit that you've been on my mind a lot lately, ever since the day at the hotel. _

_Best wishes, _

_Erwin Smith_

"The fuck." Was my first response that I said out loud. "I hate him." Was my second, and then "what the fuck, smittyblond?" was my third. I almost threw the fucking MacBook out of the window as I felt anger filling up my entire body. With trembling fingers, I started writing the actual reply.

From: Levi Ackerman (Leviackerman )

To: Erwin Smith (smittyblond )

Subject: Re: Study

_Oi, you little piece of shit, _

_I don't think about you at all. You disappeared, stole my belt and watch on the way. I don't care about your bullshit, colleagues or anything else. Leave me the fuck alone and go fuck yourself. _

_P.S. Say hi to your lovely wife. _

_Levi _

I checked the time, it was 2:12 in the morning, which meant it was around eight in the evening in Boston. Of course, Erwin probably had just gotten out of the work and arrived home so after I sent the email, it took him just fucking three minutes to respond. I saw just the beginning of the email, though, clearly saying something apologetic, but I couldn't care less. And since I didn't want the conversation to continue at all, I didn't bother with reading the whole thing and deleted it, instead.

"There you have it, asshole," I said out loud, closed my laptop and put it on my nightstand, turned off the light and buried myself in the duvet.

But I couldn't sleep.

My mind was a dangerous place, for as soon as I closed my eyes, scenes started popping up right behind my eyelids. His huge arms, broad shoulders, piercing blue eyes and the way he looked at me. The touch that left me panting, wanting and begging for more. The husky voice that sent countless vibrations down my spine. The thickness of his manhood filling up my insides, the rough and hasty proximity, as if we couldn't get enough of it. The tension raging in my chest from the very first time my eyes landed on him. The feeling of actually feeling him, in and out. And then… Then his peaceful sleeping face as I touched the gold strands of his hair. Something unexpected stirred in me while I lay in bed, something so shameful I wanted to crawl out and die. Yet I couldn't stop my hand from moving south, down, _down _to my boxers, the pleasure awaiting my arrival as my half-hard cock twitched in anticipation. I was so fucking ashamed I didn't even bother to take off my underwear. My hand slid under the fabric and as my fingers finally encircled the throbbing length, I arched my back and moaned in the most obscene way possible. Cursing loudly, I started bucking with hips in the same rhythm as my hand stroked the cock, hastily, frantically, and oh so pitifully. Soon, the room was filled with the interplay of my agonizing foolish moans, my hand worked until I felt it just wasn't enough anymore. Turning onto my stomach, I lifted my ass and reached down with my other hand to slid two fingers covered in spit inside.

I was so very pitiful.

I groaned into the pillow to actually mute the sound of it, for I was ashamed for having these thoughts about Smith, but the image of him touching me turned my body into jelly and I came hard into the fabric of my boxers too quickly. The warm come sticking onto my skin filled me with nauseous guilt, and I rushed to the bathroom to wash all these emotions away.

I blocked his contact that night.

And my life went on like usual, nothing interesting happened, I was working on bunch of studies, helped my colleagues, drank a lot of tea and tried so hard to forget about the American man who once tried to contact me. Who once fucked me so possessively it completely destroyed me. I wanted to forget about it.

And I almost did unless another shock crept into my peaceful and boring days.

It was when my supervisor called me to his office to discuss my upcoming internship. I thought I was supposed to go to Sweden next year but when I closed the door of the office, I realized how wrong I was.

"I have very exciting news for you, Levi. We have discussed your internship before and the university of Sweden was about to be your new home for a few months next year, but we received a very generous offer from Harvard University in Massachusetts, which, of course, I can't really refuse so you'll be staying there. I made some preparations, you'll get a full scholarship to cover your expenses, and you'll be working at the faculty of history of science. Now, the rules are you have to stay there for at least four months but I highly recommend you to stay longer, this is a huge experience for you, and a great offer in general. So, what do you think?" Her smile looked stupid, she looked stupid and I wanted to slap her but, instead of doing so, I stared at her with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open like some stupid fish ready to get caught.

"Fucking hell?!" I blurted out suddenly, not realizing who I was actually addressing.

"Levi! Language!" She yanked in surprise and I rolled my eyes.

"Fucking heck!" I corrected myself, "I'm not coming."

"What?! Yes, you are!"

"Fuck no, I'm not."

And that was my last word. No. I wasn't. Coming.

_I fucking wasn't. _

*/*/

That's why, half a year later, I was standing in front of the departure board at the Václav Havel's airport in Prague, waiting for my flight to Boston. The ticket warming my hand, and the anxious feeling in my gut only growing stronger.

And when the boarding started, I put on my headphones and left the world I've known for years only to jump into something new, unexpected, and unfortunately, right into Smith's territory.

I was sure this was his fault, and I promised myself he would pay for that.

_"I'm fucking coming to kick your dirty balls, Commander." _


End file.
